We'll be staying home

Even if I didn't have to work this morning -- and, by God, I have to be in by 9 a.m. -- I doubt I'd make the trip out to hound the defending Stanley Cup champions, the Pittsburgh Penguins. In fact, I wouldn't even ask The Missus and Colin, my two more-than-capable surrogates, to head over to Tampa to see what they could get.

For these reasons, it's simply not worth the hassle:

~ Champions or not, the Penguins always draw a crowd. It seems like every wannabe hound, fair-weather fan and know-nothing dealer within 200 miles finds its necessary to join the regular crew -- hounds and dealers -- who show up team after team, day after day. I have nothing against these Sharpie-come-latelys, but their absence of knowledge and hounding etiquette is something I prefer to avoid.

~ The Penguins, themselves, have been a rough team over the past few seasons. In a way, it's understandable, given the star power of such players as Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Marc-Andre Fleury and, to a much lesser degree, Jordan Staal. But when you get schlubs like Tyler Kennedy and Kris Letang, among others, giving you a hard time, well, it makes you wonder who's been filling their heads with helium, regardless of their names sullying Lord Stanley's hallowed hardware.

~ It's a Saturday matinee, meaning it's highly unlikely the Penguins will have a morning skate. This means the only opportunity you'll have today will be at the gametime bus, which will leave by 12:45 p.m. If you're lucky, some players might take a stroll to get a cup of coffee. For the most part, though, they'll stay inside, especially after being tipped off by the advance scouts.

Instead, we'll have our own hockey day today in Hockey Bay. Colin has a skate-and-shoot session at his home rink and, if schedules mesh, will skate for another two hours. Though his next hockey season starts in a few weeks, his first practice -- one that will be dominated by skating drills, according to his coach -- is Tuesday night. And as any hockey parent knows, you take ice time any time you can get it.

For those of you foolish/desperate enough to run away and join the gameday circus, here's what you'll need to know: Just look for a crowd outside the Westin Harbour Island hotel (or the Marriott Waterside or Embassy Suites) and arrive by 11 a.m. today.

This time, though, remember to bring a Sharpie. Have fun.