One of life's harsh lessons

There's a little lesson in life that, much to my amazement, escapes a number of people. Understandably, it's one of life's bitter lessons, but, nonetheless, it applies to everyone. It doesn't matter your age, race, education or income bracket.

What lesson am I talking about? A harsh one, apparently: No means no.

Now that I'm approaching the mid-century point of my time here on Earth, I'd dare say that I've heard the word "no" tens, if not hundreds of thousands of times. Most likely, the first time came as a child when I was about to do something wrong or something where someone could end up getting hurt. Since then, hardly a day has passed that I haven't heard "no." How about you?

And, really, now, isn't "no" a basic fact of life?

Unfortunately, there are others, long past their childhood, who've failed to realize this basic premise. To them, hearing "no" is a personal affront. Hearing "no" just opens the door to a more plaintive wail. More than one, too. Hearing "no" justifies pouting.

Honestly, though, isn't that just being selfish?

Chances are, sadly, it starts at home. Some children are doomed by parents who can't or won't teach their children at a young age that, unfortunately, disappointment, defined by the use of an occasional "no," is part of the maturation process. Every silver-spooned brat, no matter his age or private-school upbringing, needs to learn and, even moreso, understand this simple concept.

If he doesn't, how many of you believe that said brat is in for a rude awakening when facing the inevitable reality of adulthood? If you don't like hearing "no" now, wait until you enter the real world, right?

Please know, too, that I don't live in a glass house. Those who are close to us know that Colin, our only child, has heard "no" more often than most and, yet, we're still accused of spoiling him. While that may be true, I take solace in knowing that he understands this most basic premise of life.

Sure, Colin may pout a bit. No, actually, make that a lot. But when offered a less-palatable choice, he quickly understands that hearing "no" is the lesser of two perceived evils. Remember, now, that he's only 8.

Unfortunately, this lack of a lesson learned by a petulant Hockey Bay hound has affected others. An insider's opportunity, which allowed a rotating handful of hand-picked hounds and children rinkside access to visiting teams after morning skates, has now been revoked. All because one selfish brat, who admitted sneaking (by law, it's called trespassing) into practice because he wasn't invited, couldn't handle hearing "no."

Really, I shouldn't be surprised. It's my perception that he operates under the selfish principle that if he can't get what he wants, well, then, no one else will either. Not a redeeming quality, I'd say.

Am I pouting? Maybe, but it's not for myself. Some of it is for the tight-knit group that works together for a common goal -- adding to our collections. We freely share information. We follow the unwritten rules. We wait our turns. Yes, we've learned some important lessons in life.

Mostly, though, my lament is for Colin. As the result of someone else's selfish actions, Colin now won't be able to watch Boston's Patrice Bergeron, his best NHL buddy and favorite NHL player, take part in Monday's morning skate. And, for an 8-year-old child, that's a pretty big letdown. Especially when the guilty party, who refuses any culpability for his actions, was someone he looked up to.

I hope he's proud of himself.